I don't want to believe!

I know it's hard I've tried

I could never say goodbye

I don't ever wanna believe

I don't ever wanna believe yeah

That when we die

We all leave

I don't ever wanna let go

I hope that you see yeah

That there's a part of you that's left inside of me

(Believe- The all-american Rejects)

I just love the song. Love it a lot.

'Cause it says what I am thinking.

I really could never say goodbye. I just can't.

I know your gone, I know you died,
But I didn't get a chance to really say goodbye and I don't want to.

Saying goodbye for the last time is the hardest thing to say.

I actually don't want to believe that you left,
just because you are dead.

I want to believe that you are still here somehow.

I want to believe it so bad!

But is it true?
Are you still here?

Daddy, please tell me. Where are you?
Heaven? Is there really something like that?

You know I enjoy talking to you. If nobody is around,

I talk to you at your grave.

Daddy, do you here me?
Will you ever answer me?
I need you, you should know that.

It feels like a part of me is missing, a part I'll never get to know.

I barely know anything about you, but I love you more then my life!

Just forget everything.

Is there a way to just forget everything?
Don't remember anything that happen. Start completly new?
Because I don't wanna think of the past anymore.
It just doesn't make me happy, it makes me sad.
If I think of the past there aren't memories that make me happy.
There are just two kinds of memories.
The ones that make me hate myself for making mistakes!
And the ones that make me want to go back, because everything seems better in the past.
If I can't forget everything. Then there is something else I want.
Another wish I have.
I just wanna be a little child again. Be back at the age where my problems were small.
When I thought my family is perfect.
My friends are perfect. 'Cause now I know it wasn't true.
Nothing is perfect. It's all fucked up.
Well that's life I guess.
I just want to be a little child again. And believe life is perfect!

Leave me alone!

Why can you do that to me?
I don't want you to have that kind of power over me.
I feel so bad. Only because I saw you.
And all you said was "hello"
You didn't even bother to talk to me.
Well seems like you don't care about me at all.
So why do I care about you?
'Cause you used to be my best friend.
Used to be the only one I could tell everything.
But I am different when I don't feel good. Not myself.
That's what you said. Said you can't handle beeing around me,
whenever I am like that.
And now I don't hear anything from you anymore.
And it makes me said. But it shouldn't!
'Cause If you can't take me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best!
So if you aren't here right now.
You will never have to come back.
Just leave me alone. Forever!

Move along.

When all you got to keep is strong

Move along, move along like I know you do

And even when your hope is gone

Move along, move along just to make it through

I guess that kinda is the only way to survive,
Just move along. Always move along.
Doesn't matte what happens. If you move along,
you will make it through.
Somehow, Somewhen.
But my question is more complicate
than just how to survive.
I wanna know something way more specific.
How do I not only survive, but actually get happy?
What is the key to an happy life?
But untill I find the answer to my question,
I guess all I can do is move along!

Bitte nicht!

Muss ich da morgen wieder hin?
Muss ich zum Praktikum? Bitte nicht!
Ich schaff das nicht. Ich kann nicht mehr.
Der Name der Firma, das Gebäude, die Menschen,
alles erinnert mich. An ihn.
Daran das Papa tot ist, das er dort nicht mehr arbeiten kann,
obwohl er den Job wirklich mochte.
Das ich ihn nie wieder sehen werde.
Und an alles was passiert ist.
Bitte! Ich kann das nicht.
Ich will doch stark sein, aber ich bin es nicht.
Ich bin schwach. Viel zu schwach und hasse mich dafür!
Aber ich schaff das nicht. Ich bin am Ende.
Ich will nicht dahin. Ich tue alles um nicht hinzumüssen.
Bitte, zwing mich nicht dahin zu gehen.

Bitte nicht!